The Monday After: Why every top College Football Playoff contender besides Alabama and Clemson stinks

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The 2020 college football season is supposed to be the strangest season we’ll ever see. Every conference is starting at a different time, and they’re generally only playing against themselves. When they do play, they’re doing so in stadiums that are either completely or mostly empty. The players are being tested not by professors and their assistants, but by doctors, nurses and trained medical staff. We’re seeing games postponed or canceled regularly, and we often find out only hours before kickoff that some teams that are playing will be without 20 to 30 players. Hell, some teams don’t even have their coaches with them on the sideline.

Yet, despite all of that context, watching college football this weekend felt as normal as ever. Not because the SEC returned to the field, nor because there was finally a truly full slate of games on Saturday. No, it felt normal because we saw that everybody stinks except for Alabama and Clemson.

It is not a real college football season until every team stinks. We need every team to stink except Clemson and Alabama, or else College Football Playoff debates will be boring, and thankfully, every other team in the country has obliged us thus far. So, in this week’s Monday After, I’m ranking our supposed CFP contenders (that have played so far) in order of Least Stanky to Most Stanky.

Notre Dame — The Irish carry the least stank at the moment, thanks mostly to not playing this weekend. The problem is that the weekend off wasn’t by design! The Irish were scheduled to play Wake Forest but had to postpone the game due to seven players on the team testing positive for COVID-19. Those results led South Florida to postpone its game against FAU as it awaited test results due